Hi!
I'm back. Hopefully, I will be inspired and write more to this blog. I have been busy, despite of being lazy lol. Busy and lazy. Lazy in writing in my blog(s), and busy at the gym, reading, seeing my friends, doing stuff... There is so much "stuff" to do! I hope I never die! lol
I have found the Joy of Living. Seriously, I have found the Key to My Own Happiness. That is: Do not think too much. Just enjoy every good thing in life. Remember you have a purpose in life. Enjoy the journey. Be kind. To yourself and others. Forgive, be grateful always.
Well, that sounded kind of cheesy, sorry.
But it is true. Nobody else can give you happiness, no one can "fix" you. You will have to dig for the sunshine inside yourself. This is not easy, I know all too well. I have had depression for over a decade, I have had anxiety for years. Some people do not understand these illnesses. They're like: "I am healthy, you are not. Therefore you are weird and less worthy of things that bring you happiness." True story.
Things I am thankful today:
My Faith (and religion), God
My friends
My cats
My family
Music
Books
Movies
Barbies and My Little Ponies
Well, those are a few
I turn 40 next year... It haunts me lol. I hope I could loose weight until then, so I can look fab on my Birthday! Or "release weight" because I don' want to loose it, because I am not looking for to get it back lol
My goal weight for 22.5.2020 is 80 kilos. My 40th Bday...
I really love my friends
Well, I am getting sleepy, even though it's not that late yet...
More later!
maanantai 11. helmikuuta 2019
lauantai 1. joulukuuta 2018
Hellooo...
Hey guys and gals!
Sooo... On Thursday I just couldn't take it anymore. My gym-less life, my BodyBalance-less life... I had had enough! I listened to some of my favorite BodyBalance music and started thinking, planning and pining after the gym and the "high" I get from going to the gym. I was miserable. I just couldn't take it anymore, I had to go to the gym, somehow. Then I remembered! It was THURSDAY. My favorite class is every Thursday at 16.30 at my closest place: GoGo City. With my favorite gym-instructor! It was perfect. I had been on sick-leave since July this year, and the sick-leave (at the gym, not from work because obviously, I do not work) was supposed to end today. BUT! I called the lady at the reception and asked her if I could come already then, on Thursday, because my favorite class was then. She said YES! I was sooo happy and enthusiastic. I was over the moon. I quickly took a shower, packed my bag(s) and left for GoGo City. I RAN up the stairs to the dressing-room. RAN. I usually never run and I didn't get so winded either, it was easy! I changed into my gym-clothes and went to read/stretch and listen to music in the gym room where our class is held. It was such a liberating feeling! I felt better just being there. It worked miracles on my mind... When I was waiting for class, and as people started arriving for class, there was the usual snickers and giggles from some of the ladies, men almost never laugh at me at the gym. They stared, they whispered and giggled a little. You should have seen their faces as the class started. No more giggles! Because you know what? I still remembered every movement and position, tai-chi, yoga and pilates etc. I was a force to be reckoned with. I wasn't just a fat person. I was a talented/hard-working fat person lol. Even my gym-instructor seemed happy with my effort. My back hardly bothered me, I felt a bit weak, because of the too long break from the class, but it felt SOOO amazing! I was a fish and I was back in the water! lol
Well, this may give you the idea that I'm the perfect fat fit athlete. No. I'm not. It just felt really good and I would never have thought that I would fall back into the routines, movements etc. with such ease. It was challenging, my legs would't stay up during pilates... It was painful. But it felt so great to be at that point in life and in the life at the gym, that other people's stares and glares don't matter that much anymore. And if they stare and glare, I mostly feel sorry for them, because they don't know how to enjoy life without being a little "shady" and mean. If you really love being mean, it does say something of the emotional state of your heart... lol My heart is not so good either, I have a lot to work on. I take offense way too easily and get my feelings hurt all the time. I need to grow up some more. The fact that I can see my own mistakes is a good step in the right direction...
More Later!!! :)
Sooo... On Thursday I just couldn't take it anymore. My gym-less life, my BodyBalance-less life... I had had enough! I listened to some of my favorite BodyBalance music and started thinking, planning and pining after the gym and the "high" I get from going to the gym. I was miserable. I just couldn't take it anymore, I had to go to the gym, somehow. Then I remembered! It was THURSDAY. My favorite class is every Thursday at 16.30 at my closest place: GoGo City. With my favorite gym-instructor! It was perfect. I had been on sick-leave since July this year, and the sick-leave (at the gym, not from work because obviously, I do not work) was supposed to end today. BUT! I called the lady at the reception and asked her if I could come already then, on Thursday, because my favorite class was then. She said YES! I was sooo happy and enthusiastic. I was over the moon. I quickly took a shower, packed my bag(s) and left for GoGo City. I RAN up the stairs to the dressing-room. RAN. I usually never run and I didn't get so winded either, it was easy! I changed into my gym-clothes and went to read/stretch and listen to music in the gym room where our class is held. It was such a liberating feeling! I felt better just being there. It worked miracles on my mind... When I was waiting for class, and as people started arriving for class, there was the usual snickers and giggles from some of the ladies, men almost never laugh at me at the gym. They stared, they whispered and giggled a little. You should have seen their faces as the class started. No more giggles! Because you know what? I still remembered every movement and position, tai-chi, yoga and pilates etc. I was a force to be reckoned with. I wasn't just a fat person. I was a talented/hard-working fat person lol. Even my gym-instructor seemed happy with my effort. My back hardly bothered me, I felt a bit weak, because of the too long break from the class, but it felt SOOO amazing! I was a fish and I was back in the water! lol
Well, this may give you the idea that I'm the perfect fat fit athlete. No. I'm not. It just felt really good and I would never have thought that I would fall back into the routines, movements etc. with such ease. It was challenging, my legs would't stay up during pilates... It was painful. But it felt so great to be at that point in life and in the life at the gym, that other people's stares and glares don't matter that much anymore. And if they stare and glare, I mostly feel sorry for them, because they don't know how to enjoy life without being a little "shady" and mean. If you really love being mean, it does say something of the emotional state of your heart... lol My heart is not so good either, I have a lot to work on. I take offense way too easily and get my feelings hurt all the time. I need to grow up some more. The fact that I can see my own mistakes is a good step in the right direction...
More Later!!! :)
lauantai 24. marraskuuta 2018
Someday...
Hey there!
Since there is literally no views on my blog anymore, I will just ignore the "audience" and just "enjoy the journey" i.e. let my freak flag fly, just do it, write what I really want, not just what I think people will like... Well, my shrink told me I am too self-critical... I really do understand where that comes from.
I was bullied for 10 years in school. Then, after 10 years I became ill and had to stay in the mental hospital in Nokia for 8 months... So, my whole life I have been criticized: In school in, in church, among relatives... I have always been a little fat, a little weird, you know. So no wonder my voice doesn't work anymore!
Then some people think I'm kinda a little "slow" because of my illnesses. I feel sorry for the lot. They are so typical, judging people. They do not have a clue. I am the master of disguise... :) They do not know what they are missing. There is one dude at church, he probably assumes that I am handicapped. First of all: Why would that make me a lesser person? and: I feel sorry for him, he probably has a hard time telling what kind of person all kinds of people are. Like, if he sees someone smiling, will he understand that the person is happy? Maybe he need to study people skills a little more. And this dude did serve a mormon mission... Just sayin' ... lol
I hope all those mean people will find and get the sticky end of the lollipop of life, because that is what they deserve...
Hmm... I have been planning to make some new goals for 2019. I just thought of it, in fact.
Number One: Speak only kind and uplifting words, that includes writing.
Number Two: Do not judge, not even those who judge you.
Number Three: Think positive
Number Four: Stay active, physically and spiritually and mentally.
Number Five: SISU. Use it. :) ( it's the Finnish word for "grit" )
More later!
Since there is literally no views on my blog anymore, I will just ignore the "audience" and just "enjoy the journey" i.e. let my freak flag fly, just do it, write what I really want, not just what I think people will like... Well, my shrink told me I am too self-critical... I really do understand where that comes from.
I was bullied for 10 years in school. Then, after 10 years I became ill and had to stay in the mental hospital in Nokia for 8 months... So, my whole life I have been criticized: In school in, in church, among relatives... I have always been a little fat, a little weird, you know. So no wonder my voice doesn't work anymore!
Then some people think I'm kinda a little "slow" because of my illnesses. I feel sorry for the lot. They are so typical, judging people. They do not have a clue. I am the master of disguise... :) They do not know what they are missing. There is one dude at church, he probably assumes that I am handicapped. First of all: Why would that make me a lesser person? and: I feel sorry for him, he probably has a hard time telling what kind of person all kinds of people are. Like, if he sees someone smiling, will he understand that the person is happy? Maybe he need to study people skills a little more. And this dude did serve a mormon mission... Just sayin' ... lol
I hope all those mean people will find and get the sticky end of the lollipop of life, because that is what they deserve...
Hmm... I have been planning to make some new goals for 2019. I just thought of it, in fact.
Number One: Speak only kind and uplifting words, that includes writing.
Number Two: Do not judge, not even those who judge you.
Number Three: Think positive
Number Four: Stay active, physically and spiritually and mentally.
Number Five: SISU. Use it. :) ( it's the Finnish word for "grit" )
More later!
I'm back. Again.
Hello dear readers...
I am addicted to blogging. Yes, apparently it is possible. Funny. It is not a bad thing to be addicted to. Especially if you are on early retirement and have "nothing to do" lol. Actually, I DO have a lot to do. My support nurse person told my shrink on Thursday that I am so active that it is like I would have roller skates on. loool. That was nice to hear. Some of my friends are like: What do you DO all days?!? Aren't you bored? Are you lazy or something? Well, here in this blog I will tell you EXACTLY what I do all days... Let me think.
Mondays I very often go to my favorite shopping-center. First I eat at my favorite place. Then I sit and read/write etc a while after my meal. BTW, I either take the bus or WALK to the shopping center, it's not far but my back is hurting. I have difficulties walking. Hence, the visits at the neurologist, other doctors and I have been going to a different doctor every week for weeks now... Anyways. After sitting, thinking and writing at my favorite place, I either go to LIDL or K-Market in the shopping center. I buy stuff like food etc. If I need to. Usually I get my groceries delivered home because of my back. Then I take a look in my favorite bookstore and then I walk/ride the bus home.
Every day I write a list of things to do, in my Bullet Journal.
Tuesdays are better, because I often have the Monday-blues. Hence the visit to my favorite shopping center. Sometimes there can be breaks in my routines For example last week, when I was mostly at home. I visit my speech therapist, my shrink, my neurologist etc. and my nurse person visits me once a week or she comes with me to the doctor.
Most days I start by listening to music on Spotify and drinking pepsi max. I wake up gradually, gently. I check my fb and emails and whatsapp. I send messages to some friends I love perking them up and love to chat if someone is available. I call my parents and my auntie. I take care of my cats, wash laundry and dishes, organize stuff at home.
I often take photo shoots of my toys. My Little Pony and Barbies etc.
Then I try to be productive... Which is not so easy all the time lol. I tend to read in the evening before bed. Sometimes I listen to an audiobook version of the book at the same time. I looove audible :) My cats remind me when they are hungry, I remind myself, if not, my stomach will. I love making meatballs with my own recipe and Finnish Pancake. Those are my go-to meals...
Well, now I have lost the trail of thought. Sorry guys! More later!
I am addicted to blogging. Yes, apparently it is possible. Funny. It is not a bad thing to be addicted to. Especially if you are on early retirement and have "nothing to do" lol. Actually, I DO have a lot to do. My support nurse person told my shrink on Thursday that I am so active that it is like I would have roller skates on. loool. That was nice to hear. Some of my friends are like: What do you DO all days?!? Aren't you bored? Are you lazy or something? Well, here in this blog I will tell you EXACTLY what I do all days... Let me think.
Mondays I very often go to my favorite shopping-center. First I eat at my favorite place. Then I sit and read/write etc a while after my meal. BTW, I either take the bus or WALK to the shopping center, it's not far but my back is hurting. I have difficulties walking. Hence, the visits at the neurologist, other doctors and I have been going to a different doctor every week for weeks now... Anyways. After sitting, thinking and writing at my favorite place, I either go to LIDL or K-Market in the shopping center. I buy stuff like food etc. If I need to. Usually I get my groceries delivered home because of my back. Then I take a look in my favorite bookstore and then I walk/ride the bus home.
Every day I write a list of things to do, in my Bullet Journal.
Tuesdays are better, because I often have the Monday-blues. Hence the visit to my favorite shopping center. Sometimes there can be breaks in my routines For example last week, when I was mostly at home. I visit my speech therapist, my shrink, my neurologist etc. and my nurse person visits me once a week or she comes with me to the doctor.
Most days I start by listening to music on Spotify and drinking pepsi max. I wake up gradually, gently. I check my fb and emails and whatsapp. I send messages to some friends I love perking them up and love to chat if someone is available. I call my parents and my auntie. I take care of my cats, wash laundry and dishes, organize stuff at home.
I often take photo shoots of my toys. My Little Pony and Barbies etc.
Then I try to be productive... Which is not so easy all the time lol. I tend to read in the evening before bed. Sometimes I listen to an audiobook version of the book at the same time. I looove audible :) My cats remind me when they are hungry, I remind myself, if not, my stomach will. I love making meatballs with my own recipe and Finnish Pancake. Those are my go-to meals...
Well, now I have lost the trail of thought. Sorry guys! More later!
Tjena! Läget?
Hejsan!
JA! Igår kväll bestämde jag mej att ställa mej tillbaka i bostadskön i Sthlm. Jag trillade bort då jag glömde betala avgiften... Jag kommer nog troligen aldrig att flytta tillbaka men man vet aldrig vad som sker i ens liv. Kanske jag behöver flytta pga min livssituation. Vet inte...
Det är förfärligt att jag inte kan bo på två ställen samtidigt lol. DÅ skulle jag strax flytta tillbaka!
Om jag står i kön 10+ år så kanske jag skulle hitta en passlig lägenhet. lol. Som sagt, det är alltid bra att ha en plan B... Jag trivdes i Sthlm...
OK. Idag skiner solen här i Tammerfors och det är frost på marken. Jag måste till butiken och till Ärrä efter ett paket. Det är troligen ett paket från en anonym kompis som skickat en julkalender via den finska Barbie-sidan på Facebook. Jag ska skicka också en kalender åt en annan perosn. Idag ska jag börja paketera..
Mera senare!
perjantai 23. marraskuuta 2018
Hey there! :)
HI!!!
Happy to be back lol. I have been such a lazy blogger these past few... Years? ;) I need to step up and deliver... Even though this is not my "work" blog... That one is: https://cindersboo.blogspot.com/
Oh dear, my dear boy cat Bisse is meowing his poor little heart out. I need to take care of him... BRB!!! :P
Happy to be back lol. I have been such a lazy blogger these past few... Years? ;) I need to step up and deliver... Even though this is not my "work" blog... That one is: https://cindersboo.blogspot.com/
Oh dear, my dear boy cat Bisse is meowing his poor little heart out. I need to take care of him... BRB!!! :P
torstai 22. marraskuuta 2018
Dear Reader... :)
Wooow!
I just experienced something very special! I was looking at my blogs... Oh dear! :P When I started blogging eleven years ago, I was such a baby! lol. No, really! I was 27, naive, stupid, inexperienced little poopybrain! :( Some thoughts that I had back then are just AWFUL! WHY?!? I'm sorry you guys... But let me tell you: It has changed dramatically! I used to be "republican" or like "liberal" or like "in the middle" politically... Shh!!! Don't tell my Family: I have changed opinions RADICALLY. I'm not a very different person... I'm kinda leftist, feminist, not quite socialist maybe, but towards that, actually... And I am a "tree-hugger", green person with no intention of ever voting for example Kokoomus, Keskusta or Kristillis Demokraatit. Sorry, if this is a schock to you. I am so very sorry...
We actually have the best President in the world here in Finland. He is not part of any party. He is simply a very nice person and human being. I have never ever heard of a more humble, nice, regular guy being a President. Ooopsie! Don't take offense, some countries lol. Or you may take offense if you so wish. This is only my opinion. Finland is probably the best country in the world.
Disclaimer: All of these thoughts are my personal opinions. You are free to disagree, but you don't need to be offended because this is just my view...
Well, now that we have that garbage out of the way... Tomorrow is Black Friday. I'm maybe going to buy a Quesadilla. Yeah. Food. That's good. :) You always feel better after a Quesadilla. :) And THIS time I have pepsi max at home, no need to sleep all day tomorrow lol ;)
Boy, I wish I could spill my guts a little. But I realize the consequences... There is no way THAT will be fun for anyone except awful people who like to thrive on other people's drama. Believe me, those people do exsist...
BTW, today I visited my shrink. My speechtherapist and my "support"-nurse-person came with me. We had fun. The doctor has started to treat me a little bit more like a person... My speech therapist is GREAT! He is from Oulu, for those who know what kind of characteristics those people posses. Well, they are honest, hard working, straight forward, thorough etc. Nice people.
Hmm.... After the shrink I went to the cafe with my support-person and I drank some raspberry soda and ate a croissant and a cinnamon bun (kanelipulla). Then I came back home. I was pooped. I slept very poorly last night. Full moon and everything lol... Then I took a nap, my groceries were delivered after my nap and then I started trying to decide what to read tonight... Then, suddenly, I felt the urge to blog :P lol. It happens. ;)
I just experienced something very special! I was looking at my blogs... Oh dear! :P When I started blogging eleven years ago, I was such a baby! lol. No, really! I was 27, naive, stupid, inexperienced little poopybrain! :( Some thoughts that I had back then are just AWFUL! WHY?!? I'm sorry you guys... But let me tell you: It has changed dramatically! I used to be "republican" or like "liberal" or like "in the middle" politically... Shh!!! Don't tell my Family: I have changed opinions RADICALLY. I'm not a very different person... I'm kinda leftist, feminist, not quite socialist maybe, but towards that, actually... And I am a "tree-hugger", green person with no intention of ever voting for example Kokoomus, Keskusta or Kristillis Demokraatit. Sorry, if this is a schock to you. I am so very sorry...
We actually have the best President in the world here in Finland. He is not part of any party. He is simply a very nice person and human being. I have never ever heard of a more humble, nice, regular guy being a President. Ooopsie! Don't take offense, some countries lol. Or you may take offense if you so wish. This is only my opinion. Finland is probably the best country in the world.
Disclaimer: All of these thoughts are my personal opinions. You are free to disagree, but you don't need to be offended because this is just my view...
Well, now that we have that garbage out of the way... Tomorrow is Black Friday. I'm maybe going to buy a Quesadilla. Yeah. Food. That's good. :) You always feel better after a Quesadilla. :) And THIS time I have pepsi max at home, no need to sleep all day tomorrow lol ;)
Boy, I wish I could spill my guts a little. But I realize the consequences... There is no way THAT will be fun for anyone except awful people who like to thrive on other people's drama. Believe me, those people do exsist...
BTW, today I visited my shrink. My speechtherapist and my "support"-nurse-person came with me. We had fun. The doctor has started to treat me a little bit more like a person... My speech therapist is GREAT! He is from Oulu, for those who know what kind of characteristics those people posses. Well, they are honest, hard working, straight forward, thorough etc. Nice people.
Hmm.... After the shrink I went to the cafe with my support-person and I drank some raspberry soda and ate a croissant and a cinnamon bun (kanelipulla). Then I came back home. I was pooped. I slept very poorly last night. Full moon and everything lol... Then I took a nap, my groceries were delivered after my nap and then I started trying to decide what to read tonight... Then, suddenly, I felt the urge to blog :P lol. It happens. ;)
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