HI!
WARNING! Rant... lol
Well, I have a "friend" who is really not my friend. This person is jealous, always wants to be better than me, trying to make me feel bad every chance they get, even if they tell me they're "helping" me... An example:
I told the person: "I am on early retirement. I also have a blog, but I do not get paid for it yet."
The person: "OOOOH! So you have a BLOG! Do not tell anyone."
Like really?!? This person was also implying that I am SOOO rich, because I have a blog. In fact, I have not gotten one single penny out from this blogging business... the person of course does not believe me, like the person does not believe most of what I say. Try talking to a person who keeps on questioning EVERY SINGLE THING YOU SAY! ARGH!
Well, that, my friends, is just the tip of the iceberg... I have come to a point that I almost wish the person would just leave me alone. Because the person is really impossible. My other friends tell me that I should just stop being this person's friend, but the person also believes in revenge. So, if I would hurt the person and the person would take it too badly, I would suffer more than just keep on trying to survive and stay mentally healthy around this person...
BRB!
keskiviikko 18. syyskuuta 2019
I'm on a roll... lol
Hi there peeps!
I'm back, sooner that I would have thought/planned. Well, my blog has apparently been created by ME in 2007, that is 12 years ago! WOOOW! That is crazy! I do see some "development" lol. I was such a BABY! It is embarrassing... Awful, really...
Now I got a weird flash-back from my years in Sweden. Some late evening, my Mom and me got hungry and wanted Pizza. We walked to our pizza place on our street and took a pizza with us home. It was delish! I miss the hustle and bustle of living in a huge city, in the center, where you can get food 24/7, right around the corner! it is the best!
What, may you ask, has prompted these flashbacks and memories come flooding back? I saw my favorite radiopersonality in Sweden post on Facebook, so I started listening to my favorite radiostation:
https://www.ilikeradio.se/rixfm/
In case you were wondering, my favorite radio personality is ROGER! He is so cute! I have been listening to his voice since 2001-2002... That is a while lol. And since I am sleepless here at home alone (see what I did there?), I decided to listen to the radiostation and wait for my favorite program: Rix MorronZoo. It starts 5 a. m. Swedish time and I will try to stay awake until then lol. Because! The post on facebook said: Ask Roger a question!
I asked him: "How do you take care of your voice?" Let us see, what he replies... IF he replies to my comment... Do not know yet, I will take that chance! I am a big fan lol.He is so cool and has a very pleasant voice!
My cat Bisse is meowing and wondering "when's breakfast?" lol
It is only 3.35 a. m. here in Finland and the time is 2.35 in Sweden... So, I need to wait almost three hours still lol... Life is hard, I know...
I'm back, sooner that I would have thought/planned. Well, my blog has apparently been created by ME in 2007, that is 12 years ago! WOOOW! That is crazy! I do see some "development" lol. I was such a BABY! It is embarrassing... Awful, really...
Now I got a weird flash-back from my years in Sweden. Some late evening, my Mom and me got hungry and wanted Pizza. We walked to our pizza place on our street and took a pizza with us home. It was delish! I miss the hustle and bustle of living in a huge city, in the center, where you can get food 24/7, right around the corner! it is the best!
What, may you ask, has prompted these flashbacks and memories come flooding back? I saw my favorite radiopersonality in Sweden post on Facebook, so I started listening to my favorite radiostation:
https://www.ilikeradio.se/rixfm/
In case you were wondering, my favorite radio personality is ROGER! He is so cute! I have been listening to his voice since 2001-2002... That is a while lol. And since I am sleepless here at home alone (see what I did there?), I decided to listen to the radiostation and wait for my favorite program: Rix MorronZoo. It starts 5 a. m. Swedish time and I will try to stay awake until then lol. Because! The post on facebook said: Ask Roger a question!
I asked him: "How do you take care of your voice?" Let us see, what he replies... IF he replies to my comment... Do not know yet, I will take that chance! I am a big fan lol.He is so cool and has a very pleasant voice!
My cat Bisse is meowing and wondering "when's breakfast?" lol
It is only 3.35 a. m. here in Finland and the time is 2.35 in Sweden... So, I need to wait almost three hours still lol... Life is hard, I know...
TJENA! :)
TJENA! LÄGET?
YES, this will be a post about me missing the country I once called Home, the country where I thought I would die... Probably will not... I lived there from 7.1.2001 until 6.12.2012... SO, basically 12 years! That was a long time to be studying. LOL. I studied English and Finnish on/off for all those years. It was sooo awesome! The University I attended is my favorite school EVER! Because I was never bullied there... and the teachers were great! I hope they still are, I think they are.
I started my life in Sweden in Tullinge, Botkyrka kommun, outside Stockholm. I lived with two members of the Church, they are mother and daughter. We had some really fun times together! I miss them often and would like to see them for a "reunion". They moved to Brandbergen, in Haninge kommun, outside of Stockholm, a really nice place. I lived with my new friends for about 4-5 months. Then I got ill, depression etc. Lived in Finland in Fall of 2001. Then, I got right back, in January 2002, back at the University. In the summer of 2001 I briefly lived in Svedmyra, Enskede and worked at an oldfolks home for ten days. I lived in a small room, next to my workplace, at the workers' dorm. I got bullied real bad at work, so that's why I moved to Finland and got depression, in reverse order.
When I came back to Sweden in January 2002, I moved into a rented apartment in Svedmyra, Enskede, a two-room place with a balcony. It was a pretty nice place. Then in April 2002 I moved to Kungsholmen, Stockholm city. I lived on Fridhemsgatan. My parents moved in with me after a few weeks, months, cannot remember. It was a big apartment. Three rooms, kitchen, bath and toilet, and a nice balcony. We lived there for five years. My Dad moved back to Finland and my Mom moved to Solna, a nice, one-room apartment. She was working at a nice Old people's home and so she stayed in Stockholm.
Now comes the fun part lol. I BOUGHT with my Mom, a small two-room apartment for me on Kungsholmen! It was 35 square meters, with a balcony. It was perfect! BUT! There was no room for a washer! That was a horrible minus lol... I had to wash all my laundry in the shared washing facilities... That wasn't so nice. Somehow I survived lol...
I lived on St Eriksgatan for five years, and in 2011 I was joined by my two kitties: Bisse and Brianna. I have a blog about them, here is a link to it:
https://keep-calm-and-meow.blogspot.com/
I moved to St Eriksgatan on the 1st of November 2007... I moved from there back to Finland on the 6th of December 2012, the Independence Day of Finland... Oh, how I have missed Sweden. But it is better for me in Finland. It is my home...
YES, this will be a post about me missing the country I once called Home, the country where I thought I would die... Probably will not... I lived there from 7.1.2001 until 6.12.2012... SO, basically 12 years! That was a long time to be studying. LOL. I studied English and Finnish on/off for all those years. It was sooo awesome! The University I attended is my favorite school EVER! Because I was never bullied there... and the teachers were great! I hope they still are, I think they are.
I started my life in Sweden in Tullinge, Botkyrka kommun, outside Stockholm. I lived with two members of the Church, they are mother and daughter. We had some really fun times together! I miss them often and would like to see them for a "reunion". They moved to Brandbergen, in Haninge kommun, outside of Stockholm, a really nice place. I lived with my new friends for about 4-5 months. Then I got ill, depression etc. Lived in Finland in Fall of 2001. Then, I got right back, in January 2002, back at the University. In the summer of 2001 I briefly lived in Svedmyra, Enskede and worked at an oldfolks home for ten days. I lived in a small room, next to my workplace, at the workers' dorm. I got bullied real bad at work, so that's why I moved to Finland and got depression, in reverse order.
When I came back to Sweden in January 2002, I moved into a rented apartment in Svedmyra, Enskede, a two-room place with a balcony. It was a pretty nice place. Then in April 2002 I moved to Kungsholmen, Stockholm city. I lived on Fridhemsgatan. My parents moved in with me after a few weeks, months, cannot remember. It was a big apartment. Three rooms, kitchen, bath and toilet, and a nice balcony. We lived there for five years. My Dad moved back to Finland and my Mom moved to Solna, a nice, one-room apartment. She was working at a nice Old people's home and so she stayed in Stockholm.
Now comes the fun part lol. I BOUGHT with my Mom, a small two-room apartment for me on Kungsholmen! It was 35 square meters, with a balcony. It was perfect! BUT! There was no room for a washer! That was a horrible minus lol... I had to wash all my laundry in the shared washing facilities... That wasn't so nice. Somehow I survived lol...
I lived on St Eriksgatan for five years, and in 2011 I was joined by my two kitties: Bisse and Brianna. I have a blog about them, here is a link to it:
https://keep-calm-and-meow.blogspot.com/
I moved to St Eriksgatan on the 1st of November 2007... I moved from there back to Finland on the 6th of December 2012, the Independence Day of Finland... Oh, how I have missed Sweden. But it is better for me in Finland. It is my home...
maanantai 11. helmikuuta 2019
Hi
Hi!
I'm back. Hopefully, I will be inspired and write more to this blog. I have been busy, despite of being lazy lol. Busy and lazy. Lazy in writing in my blog(s), and busy at the gym, reading, seeing my friends, doing stuff... There is so much "stuff" to do! I hope I never die! lol
I have found the Joy of Living. Seriously, I have found the Key to My Own Happiness. That is: Do not think too much. Just enjoy every good thing in life. Remember you have a purpose in life. Enjoy the journey. Be kind. To yourself and others. Forgive, be grateful always.
Well, that sounded kind of cheesy, sorry.
But it is true. Nobody else can give you happiness, no one can "fix" you. You will have to dig for the sunshine inside yourself. This is not easy, I know all too well. I have had depression for over a decade, I have had anxiety for years. Some people do not understand these illnesses. They're like: "I am healthy, you are not. Therefore you are weird and less worthy of things that bring you happiness." True story.
Things I am thankful today:
My Faith (and religion), God
My friends
My cats
My family
Music
Books
Movies
Barbies and My Little Ponies
Well, those are a few
I turn 40 next year... It haunts me lol. I hope I could loose weight until then, so I can look fab on my Birthday! Or "release weight" because I don' want to loose it, because I am not looking for to get it back lol
My goal weight for 22.5.2020 is 80 kilos. My 40th Bday...
I really love my friends
Well, I am getting sleepy, even though it's not that late yet...
More later!
I'm back. Hopefully, I will be inspired and write more to this blog. I have been busy, despite of being lazy lol. Busy and lazy. Lazy in writing in my blog(s), and busy at the gym, reading, seeing my friends, doing stuff... There is so much "stuff" to do! I hope I never die! lol
I have found the Joy of Living. Seriously, I have found the Key to My Own Happiness. That is: Do not think too much. Just enjoy every good thing in life. Remember you have a purpose in life. Enjoy the journey. Be kind. To yourself and others. Forgive, be grateful always.
Well, that sounded kind of cheesy, sorry.
But it is true. Nobody else can give you happiness, no one can "fix" you. You will have to dig for the sunshine inside yourself. This is not easy, I know all too well. I have had depression for over a decade, I have had anxiety for years. Some people do not understand these illnesses. They're like: "I am healthy, you are not. Therefore you are weird and less worthy of things that bring you happiness." True story.
Things I am thankful today:
My Faith (and religion), God
My friends
My cats
My family
Music
Books
Movies
Barbies and My Little Ponies
Well, those are a few
I turn 40 next year... It haunts me lol. I hope I could loose weight until then, so I can look fab on my Birthday! Or "release weight" because I don' want to loose it, because I am not looking for to get it back lol
My goal weight for 22.5.2020 is 80 kilos. My 40th Bday...
I really love my friends
Well, I am getting sleepy, even though it's not that late yet...
More later!
lauantai 1. joulukuuta 2018
Hellooo...
Hey guys and gals!
Sooo... On Thursday I just couldn't take it anymore. My gym-less life, my BodyBalance-less life... I had had enough! I listened to some of my favorite BodyBalance music and started thinking, planning and pining after the gym and the "high" I get from going to the gym. I was miserable. I just couldn't take it anymore, I had to go to the gym, somehow. Then I remembered! It was THURSDAY. My favorite class is every Thursday at 16.30 at my closest place: GoGo City. With my favorite gym-instructor! It was perfect. I had been on sick-leave since July this year, and the sick-leave (at the gym, not from work because obviously, I do not work) was supposed to end today. BUT! I called the lady at the reception and asked her if I could come already then, on Thursday, because my favorite class was then. She said YES! I was sooo happy and enthusiastic. I was over the moon. I quickly took a shower, packed my bag(s) and left for GoGo City. I RAN up the stairs to the dressing-room. RAN. I usually never run and I didn't get so winded either, it was easy! I changed into my gym-clothes and went to read/stretch and listen to music in the gym room where our class is held. It was such a liberating feeling! I felt better just being there. It worked miracles on my mind... When I was waiting for class, and as people started arriving for class, there was the usual snickers and giggles from some of the ladies, men almost never laugh at me at the gym. They stared, they whispered and giggled a little. You should have seen their faces as the class started. No more giggles! Because you know what? I still remembered every movement and position, tai-chi, yoga and pilates etc. I was a force to be reckoned with. I wasn't just a fat person. I was a talented/hard-working fat person lol. Even my gym-instructor seemed happy with my effort. My back hardly bothered me, I felt a bit weak, because of the too long break from the class, but it felt SOOO amazing! I was a fish and I was back in the water! lol
Well, this may give you the idea that I'm the perfect fat fit athlete. No. I'm not. It just felt really good and I would never have thought that I would fall back into the routines, movements etc. with such ease. It was challenging, my legs would't stay up during pilates... It was painful. But it felt so great to be at that point in life and in the life at the gym, that other people's stares and glares don't matter that much anymore. And if they stare and glare, I mostly feel sorry for them, because they don't know how to enjoy life without being a little "shady" and mean. If you really love being mean, it does say something of the emotional state of your heart... lol My heart is not so good either, I have a lot to work on. I take offense way too easily and get my feelings hurt all the time. I need to grow up some more. The fact that I can see my own mistakes is a good step in the right direction...
More Later!!! :)
Sooo... On Thursday I just couldn't take it anymore. My gym-less life, my BodyBalance-less life... I had had enough! I listened to some of my favorite BodyBalance music and started thinking, planning and pining after the gym and the "high" I get from going to the gym. I was miserable. I just couldn't take it anymore, I had to go to the gym, somehow. Then I remembered! It was THURSDAY. My favorite class is every Thursday at 16.30 at my closest place: GoGo City. With my favorite gym-instructor! It was perfect. I had been on sick-leave since July this year, and the sick-leave (at the gym, not from work because obviously, I do not work) was supposed to end today. BUT! I called the lady at the reception and asked her if I could come already then, on Thursday, because my favorite class was then. She said YES! I was sooo happy and enthusiastic. I was over the moon. I quickly took a shower, packed my bag(s) and left for GoGo City. I RAN up the stairs to the dressing-room. RAN. I usually never run and I didn't get so winded either, it was easy! I changed into my gym-clothes and went to read/stretch and listen to music in the gym room where our class is held. It was such a liberating feeling! I felt better just being there. It worked miracles on my mind... When I was waiting for class, and as people started arriving for class, there was the usual snickers and giggles from some of the ladies, men almost never laugh at me at the gym. They stared, they whispered and giggled a little. You should have seen their faces as the class started. No more giggles! Because you know what? I still remembered every movement and position, tai-chi, yoga and pilates etc. I was a force to be reckoned with. I wasn't just a fat person. I was a talented/hard-working fat person lol. Even my gym-instructor seemed happy with my effort. My back hardly bothered me, I felt a bit weak, because of the too long break from the class, but it felt SOOO amazing! I was a fish and I was back in the water! lol
Well, this may give you the idea that I'm the perfect fat fit athlete. No. I'm not. It just felt really good and I would never have thought that I would fall back into the routines, movements etc. with such ease. It was challenging, my legs would't stay up during pilates... It was painful. But it felt so great to be at that point in life and in the life at the gym, that other people's stares and glares don't matter that much anymore. And if they stare and glare, I mostly feel sorry for them, because they don't know how to enjoy life without being a little "shady" and mean. If you really love being mean, it does say something of the emotional state of your heart... lol My heart is not so good either, I have a lot to work on. I take offense way too easily and get my feelings hurt all the time. I need to grow up some more. The fact that I can see my own mistakes is a good step in the right direction...
More Later!!! :)
lauantai 24. marraskuuta 2018
Someday...
Hey there!
Since there is literally no views on my blog anymore, I will just ignore the "audience" and just "enjoy the journey" i.e. let my freak flag fly, just do it, write what I really want, not just what I think people will like... Well, my shrink told me I am too self-critical... I really do understand where that comes from.
I was bullied for 10 years in school. Then, after 10 years I became ill and had to stay in the mental hospital in Nokia for 8 months... So, my whole life I have been criticized: In school in, in church, among relatives... I have always been a little fat, a little weird, you know. So no wonder my voice doesn't work anymore!
Then some people think I'm kinda a little "slow" because of my illnesses. I feel sorry for the lot. They are so typical, judging people. They do not have a clue. I am the master of disguise... :) They do not know what they are missing. There is one dude at church, he probably assumes that I am handicapped. First of all: Why would that make me a lesser person? and: I feel sorry for him, he probably has a hard time telling what kind of person all kinds of people are. Like, if he sees someone smiling, will he understand that the person is happy? Maybe he need to study people skills a little more. And this dude did serve a mormon mission... Just sayin' ... lol
I hope all those mean people will find and get the sticky end of the lollipop of life, because that is what they deserve...
Hmm... I have been planning to make some new goals for 2019. I just thought of it, in fact.
Number One: Speak only kind and uplifting words, that includes writing.
Number Two: Do not judge, not even those who judge you.
Number Three: Think positive
Number Four: Stay active, physically and spiritually and mentally.
Number Five: SISU. Use it. :) ( it's the Finnish word for "grit" )
More later!
Since there is literally no views on my blog anymore, I will just ignore the "audience" and just "enjoy the journey" i.e. let my freak flag fly, just do it, write what I really want, not just what I think people will like... Well, my shrink told me I am too self-critical... I really do understand where that comes from.
I was bullied for 10 years in school. Then, after 10 years I became ill and had to stay in the mental hospital in Nokia for 8 months... So, my whole life I have been criticized: In school in, in church, among relatives... I have always been a little fat, a little weird, you know. So no wonder my voice doesn't work anymore!
Then some people think I'm kinda a little "slow" because of my illnesses. I feel sorry for the lot. They are so typical, judging people. They do not have a clue. I am the master of disguise... :) They do not know what they are missing. There is one dude at church, he probably assumes that I am handicapped. First of all: Why would that make me a lesser person? and: I feel sorry for him, he probably has a hard time telling what kind of person all kinds of people are. Like, if he sees someone smiling, will he understand that the person is happy? Maybe he need to study people skills a little more. And this dude did serve a mormon mission... Just sayin' ... lol
I hope all those mean people will find and get the sticky end of the lollipop of life, because that is what they deserve...
Hmm... I have been planning to make some new goals for 2019. I just thought of it, in fact.
Number One: Speak only kind and uplifting words, that includes writing.
Number Two: Do not judge, not even those who judge you.
Number Three: Think positive
Number Four: Stay active, physically and spiritually and mentally.
Number Five: SISU. Use it. :) ( it's the Finnish word for "grit" )
More later!
I'm back. Again.
Hello dear readers...
I am addicted to blogging. Yes, apparently it is possible. Funny. It is not a bad thing to be addicted to. Especially if you are on early retirement and have "nothing to do" lol. Actually, I DO have a lot to do. My support nurse person told my shrink on Thursday that I am so active that it is like I would have roller skates on. loool. That was nice to hear. Some of my friends are like: What do you DO all days?!? Aren't you bored? Are you lazy or something? Well, here in this blog I will tell you EXACTLY what I do all days... Let me think.
Mondays I very often go to my favorite shopping-center. First I eat at my favorite place. Then I sit and read/write etc a while after my meal. BTW, I either take the bus or WALK to the shopping center, it's not far but my back is hurting. I have difficulties walking. Hence, the visits at the neurologist, other doctors and I have been going to a different doctor every week for weeks now... Anyways. After sitting, thinking and writing at my favorite place, I either go to LIDL or K-Market in the shopping center. I buy stuff like food etc. If I need to. Usually I get my groceries delivered home because of my back. Then I take a look in my favorite bookstore and then I walk/ride the bus home.
Every day I write a list of things to do, in my Bullet Journal.
Tuesdays are better, because I often have the Monday-blues. Hence the visit to my favorite shopping center. Sometimes there can be breaks in my routines For example last week, when I was mostly at home. I visit my speech therapist, my shrink, my neurologist etc. and my nurse person visits me once a week or she comes with me to the doctor.
Most days I start by listening to music on Spotify and drinking pepsi max. I wake up gradually, gently. I check my fb and emails and whatsapp. I send messages to some friends I love perking them up and love to chat if someone is available. I call my parents and my auntie. I take care of my cats, wash laundry and dishes, organize stuff at home.
I often take photo shoots of my toys. My Little Pony and Barbies etc.
Then I try to be productive... Which is not so easy all the time lol. I tend to read in the evening before bed. Sometimes I listen to an audiobook version of the book at the same time. I looove audible :) My cats remind me when they are hungry, I remind myself, if not, my stomach will. I love making meatballs with my own recipe and Finnish Pancake. Those are my go-to meals...
Well, now I have lost the trail of thought. Sorry guys! More later!
I am addicted to blogging. Yes, apparently it is possible. Funny. It is not a bad thing to be addicted to. Especially if you are on early retirement and have "nothing to do" lol. Actually, I DO have a lot to do. My support nurse person told my shrink on Thursday that I am so active that it is like I would have roller skates on. loool. That was nice to hear. Some of my friends are like: What do you DO all days?!? Aren't you bored? Are you lazy or something? Well, here in this blog I will tell you EXACTLY what I do all days... Let me think.
Mondays I very often go to my favorite shopping-center. First I eat at my favorite place. Then I sit and read/write etc a while after my meal. BTW, I either take the bus or WALK to the shopping center, it's not far but my back is hurting. I have difficulties walking. Hence, the visits at the neurologist, other doctors and I have been going to a different doctor every week for weeks now... Anyways. After sitting, thinking and writing at my favorite place, I either go to LIDL or K-Market in the shopping center. I buy stuff like food etc. If I need to. Usually I get my groceries delivered home because of my back. Then I take a look in my favorite bookstore and then I walk/ride the bus home.
Every day I write a list of things to do, in my Bullet Journal.
Tuesdays are better, because I often have the Monday-blues. Hence the visit to my favorite shopping center. Sometimes there can be breaks in my routines For example last week, when I was mostly at home. I visit my speech therapist, my shrink, my neurologist etc. and my nurse person visits me once a week or she comes with me to the doctor.
Most days I start by listening to music on Spotify and drinking pepsi max. I wake up gradually, gently. I check my fb and emails and whatsapp. I send messages to some friends I love perking them up and love to chat if someone is available. I call my parents and my auntie. I take care of my cats, wash laundry and dishes, organize stuff at home.
I often take photo shoots of my toys. My Little Pony and Barbies etc.
Then I try to be productive... Which is not so easy all the time lol. I tend to read in the evening before bed. Sometimes I listen to an audiobook version of the book at the same time. I looove audible :) My cats remind me when they are hungry, I remind myself, if not, my stomach will. I love making meatballs with my own recipe and Finnish Pancake. Those are my go-to meals...
Well, now I have lost the trail of thought. Sorry guys! More later!
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