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Hi there...

I'm sitting here at my dad's desk in the "office" in my Tampere-home here in Finland, listening to Céline and looking out the window, wondering how mean people can be. Seriously. Well. I'll just have to say: I won't judge them, who knows, they might be handicapped in the brain or something and I will let God judge between us. To be honest, I think neither of us has done much wrong, except for them because they judged me... And pretty harshly at that...

Anyway. There's no point in thinking about idiots. They will always exist.

Today I've been playing Pet Society most of the day. It's FUN!!! :D

hi

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A couple of weeks ago my best friend stopped being my best friend.

Reason:

She thinks I am a bad person and I have the wrong opinions.

Okay. So I am a bad person because of these reasons:

1. I visit her, go to the movies with her and entertain her and write her letters. She sits in a wheelchair, so she doesn't get around much. So, obviously, I must be evil.

2. I am friends with everyone, not just the good churchies.

3. I use the word "Heterosexual" now, THAT's pure evil, is it not?

Well, people are free to judge and to do whatever they want.

Today I wrote her an email because I had had enough. I am trough playing the "evil one"... I don't want her to think that my silence means that she is right about me, because she is not. Or maybe it is just her Mom... Well, I wrote her little sister and I hope she can sort things out.

Keep your fingers crossed!

More later!

All by myself...

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Dear reader,

I have got the flu. Some kind of normal flu, I think. Anyway, because I have this flu, I'm going to Finland tomorrow morning with Viking Line and spend LOTS and LOTS of quality time with my Dad and my Friends over there...

I LOOOVE FINLAND!!!

More later...

Mulla on niin kylmä ilman sua...

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Sorry, this one's in Finnish... ;)

Voi kökköti kökkö. Yiruma soi taustalla. "River flows in you". Mulla on Youtube randomilla mun suomifiilis soittolista ja just kun mun piti rupeman tätä kirjoittaman niin sieltä tulleepi tää laulu... :P Kylläpä on hauskaa... LOL <-ironiaa

Elämä on.

"When you don't want to feel,
death might seem like a dream..."

"Crazy is not being broken,
or swallowing a big secret.
It's you and me -amplified.

If you've ever told a lie,
and enjoyed it
or wished you could be a child forever...

They were not perfect
but they were my friends
and there doesn't go one day,
that my heart does not find them."

-Girl, Interrupted

Pitkäniemi Nuoriso-osasto 4, elokuu 97 - huhtikuu 98.

When the schnecken beckons... ;)

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I'm in the mood of watching "Birdcage"... I just LOVE miss Albert!!! He's the quintessential gay kinda man who dresses up as a lady each night and I just cannot help but love him, every time he pops up on my screen. He's so cute.

That does not mean I only love gay men. How can a woman do that? They do not prefer me. I need a real man. OK. Anyways... I'm angry at a guy right now. He's a Finn. He's not a mormon. That should give away enough information for the persons closest to me to figure out who he is. He likes beer. We've been out on dates. NOW you know.

I just don't understand him. That's no reason to hate him. I'm just very angry at him. He left things in the middle. No ending. We had a pretty good start. Better than I've ever had. OK, he was drunk. Anyways. I deserve MAYBE something better than what I got in the end. No nothing.

I need to deal with everything in my life, or I might loose my voice, my mind or start hurting myself. I need "closure", like Chicken Little did!!! It's no joke. And with this guy: NO CLOSURE.

There was not exactly no closure with another guy either... But that's classified.

More later!

Happy thoughts...

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That topic was meant to be ironic.

I feel tired all the time now. I wake up too early. I need coke light to stay awake. I take caffeine pills sometime. Life sucks. Big time. I love that old love song "The Rose", where it says: "Sometimes love, it is a razor that leaves your soul to bleed". Because that's just what this stupid love's gone and done with me this time. And it did involve a razor -two times. Mr. O, that stupid canuck, he's NOTHING compared to this. He's a little pidgeon fart. This one's a freaking hurricane... I didn't bleed last time. I just scratched off the surface. Well. I have my doctor. Bosse. And my curator. And my Ward, if it gets that bad.

Bye.

More later.

September 2.nd

Hello again.

My very personal own Hogwarts in this world is located on Stadshagen in the city of Stockholm. Don't think it's in any way in the suburbs, because it ain't. It is in a red brick building, on the fourth floor and is thus very abtly named "Ward 4". There we have the most wonderful people working for the healthcare in the entire world, if you ask me. And now most of them are going to be transferred down to Ward 2, so "next time" I'm going there... Fredrick is working on Ward 5 now, so I won't see HIM anymore, but anyways. There's always the Rock, the Hazelnut, the one who looks like my uncle and mr. M with post-ironic-humour... Once I said to him: "mr. M, DARLING, they're letting me out!" and he responded, very seriously: "But, my love, what shall we do?" or the Swedish version of that, that is. ;) I have never been called that by any man. Not "Lilla hjärtat". It was so cute. Though we both knew he was kidding. And he's not my darling, either. I had 5-7 DARLINGS on Ward 4... ;)

My vampire. A guy. He's nice. We're a very odd pair of friends. We can talk about ANYTHING. Yes, all kinds of stuff and he's only let me down once. And that was probably my own doing. I set myself up that time. Still hurts though...

The dream. Last night. Wish I didn't have it. Made me all fuzzy inside again, for the vampire...

OK.