Something about life at the moment

 Hi...

I recently started another blog. The subject there is missionarywork. It has been read a lot.

My life outside of that has been very interesting to say the least.

 I really was not feeling okay or like I was hyper active and very happy for about two weeks. First I thought it was my painkillers making me high, nope! It was just life and the feels I sometimes experience. They usually come and go, but this time my happy mood has persevered even though everything in my life is NOT all peaches and flowers etc. I have found many ways to deal with my anxiety and honestly I have not had a lot of anxiety for almost a month. :) My friends have helped me a lot.

I am actually amazed how I still can be this happy! I smile each day a lot, laugh and mostly think very happy thoughts. I am a new person. I also have become more perky and do not need as many naps as before and have a lot more energy. I have lost 10 kilograms! I felt like I was eating all the time but apparently not lol. I am happy about that too.

I think something has changed that used to bother me a LOT. I just left the problem in the past and I must say a few friends have helped me leave that thing behind me, for which I am forever grateful. I used to lie in bed all day for weeks on end just scrolling through social media. A MIRACLE happened. I am so happy I feel a lot better. Some people or situations still trigger a negative response or emotion but I do not care so much, because every time I feel really good right afterwards. There are very few things in my life right now that can make me really severly depressed anymore!

I was afraid of getting a psychosis for those two weeks :( some feelings can SEEM like a psychosis or like you are not yourself... That is what happened to me lol. I hate and love when my feelings go crazy and my mind follows. It is not possible to pull the breaks, but I managed it. I just calmed a little down, and now I feel pretty normal. "Normal" for me is not "normal" for everyone lol. I try to be normal but it really does not work for me. I am at least happy that I am becoming an adult now at the age of almost 43 lol.

Well, there are some of my thoughts. I need to try to read today-...

TA! ;)

At the end of 2022... :)

 Good morning!

Sorry I haven't written in over a year... A lot has happened lol. Good and bad.

I had to go to the hospital in the spring and now in the fall... I stayed almost a month now in the fall at the hospital. It is a good hospital, in Sastamala, a little farther away from my home but very good quality. Very nice nurses and good food. 

I was supposed to move in the summer but I canceled my move in the spring... I felt like it is not good for me and I really love my home in Tampere. My cats also love living here... I have many friends and a lot of hobbies and things to do every day. 

I have continued collecting Barbies and ponies etc. My collection is ever growing :D

I am happy today :) It's a little before 5 am and I woke up so early because I fell asleep before 8 pm. Also, my cats were hungry... They are always hungry hahhah. I will nap later, so it's okay. Yesterday my friend from church came and cleaned my home with me for two hours, it was nice.

I am participating in nanowrimo, which is a writing thing in November... I have started a little already. I am writing on scrivener and of course these blogs of mine. As usual, I also try to keep up with my regular journals too... a lot of writing lol.

More later! :)

Early morning thoughts

 Good morning! 

I know, it's Saturday morning, it's a little past four a.m. here and I can't sleep even though I should be sleeping... I woke up with a stomach ache from yesterday's burrito lol. It made my stomach a bit upset. It usually doesn't do that, but it's okay. It was a good burrito. I like burritos. 

So, this update comes a bit earlier. I was going to try to update you once a month, but I just got the inspiration to write now. There is nothing I can do about that. LOL. I slept five hours, I fell asleep really early... I will soon go back to bed.

I've been pretty happy lately. Life is good. Sometimes I get anxiety etc. but it always does pass sooner or later. I have good medicine. I haven't seen my shrink in more than six months, they are very busy obviously. Feels like the health care system here in Tampere isn't working quite as it should. At least not the mental health care... It is awful. I hope everyone who is suffering can cope. There's always the hospital... But it gets crowded. It's really horrible.

Anyway... I have been busy and meeting friends, going to church and writing in my journals, reading, watching netflix etc. :) I'm happy with my life right now. Not anything missing... LOL. I know, I'm single, but I am not worried about that. Not at all. It will all work out. It doesn't get better if I worry about it. 

More later! :)

August Update...

 Hello there! 

What's up? ;) 

I visited my parents for nearly two weeks in July/August. My cats came with me and we had a lot of fun. I swam *once* in the ocean, ate at Kotipizza twice: Kanalankku pizza (Chicken pizza with avocado and feta cheese, chili sauce and some green stuff lol). It is my favorite pizza... They have a great service at lunch there: One can drink as much as one wants, and the sodas have additional flavors to be added if so wished: Strawberry, vanilla, lime and raspberry. (I'm not sure about the raspberry one... don't remember lol) I also ate once at McDonald's and once at a lovely café: Skorpan, near where my parents live. I also went to church, met my cousin and aunties and uncle. I love my family. I also met my biological sister. We talked for two hours. She is so wonderful, I love my siblings. They found me in 2014 on facebook... I got two elder brothers and two elder sisters, all at once :) I'm so happy they found me. 

I've decided to try to update this blog at least once a month. Let's hope for the best...

I've been pretty okay. Happy most of the time. Lots to do. :) I have two jobs, we call them Callings in our church. Before I had no job, or like only a very small one. Now I'm the singles aged 31+ representative in my ward and the counselor in the women's organisation: Relief society. It is sooo fun! :) I really like that I can help people. It is so nice. I feel that I am not useless. I can make a difference. 

I have also been quite active on the International singles aged 31-55 group online. We have meetings on zoom on Thursdays, Fridays and Sundays. It's for all the 31-55 year old singles from the church in Europe. The program is called "Gathered In" and is not a dating platform, only to talk about our faith, find friends and have fun.

I love life right now. I have music to listen to, books, two lovely cats, a roof over my head, food and youtube premium lol :D There are so many things to be grateful for... If I sometimes get depressed or get anxiety it is basically because of my brain, an unbalance in the brain. I don't decide to get depressed, it doesn't help when people say : Just smile! or something. It is so annoying. These people haven't got any perspective! :P

I'm listening to my favorite spotify list:

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/35OArLtspCXsDFAAt65YRl?si=d9d63e7322114349

It's like my "best of the best" :D

I'm quite happy today :) I got new earphones yesterday evening: Airpods. They are called Happy plugs (Stockholm), designed in Sweden <3 Which is suitable, since I lived there for 12 years lol. They are gold and pink colored. 

There they are... Aren't they beautiful? :)

My new hobby: Listening to music from Spotify on my laptop via my airpods :P Lovely! 

Have a lovely weekend! :)

TA! :)

Life update July 2021

 Hello!

How is everyone doing? We're having a long heatwave here in Finland... It's *interesting* lol :D It is quite hard to do anything... you get hot and sweaty real easily. It is a bit bothering, but I will hopefully manage. I'm soon getting a cooler/fan. That's really good.

I've kept up with my bullet journals, journals and other notebooks, most of the time at least. I often write a to do -list for the day, not always though. I have so many notebooks on many different subjects. Each subject has its own notebook lol. 

My cats are okay. They just turned 10 years, and sometimes a little tired or anxious and meowing a lot.... But pretty okay. They are my babies. Very fluffy... I didn't realize really how fluffy they would be when I first got them in 2011. LOL

I have been listening to a lot of Swedish radio. There are a few radio stations on ilikeradio.se that I really like. They have many different kind of stations. Also I have found some nice radio stations in the UK. Of course, there is radio Suomi pop in Finland that I kinda like.

Here is a link to the Swedish radio page:

https://www.ilikeradio.se/rixfm/

I have listened to Rix morron Zoo since 2001/2002 when I lived in Sweden. I moved there in 2001 so I found that radio station pretty quick. I stayed in Sweden until 2012. I moved there in January 2001 and back home to Finland in December 2012 so it's 12 years. That is quite a long time. I liked it pretty well.

I've been pretty healthy.Not much anxiety or depressing feelings. Mostly happy and glad. Now in the summertime I have been outside a lot. Sitting in the park alone or with friends. Reading, listening to music, taking pictures of my dolls etc.

More later!

TA!

It's BACK! :)

 Hello dear readers...

I have managed to wake my computer up from "almost death". That is excellent, so happy about it. Now I have no excuse to not blog anymore... I will try my best. I have been updating my bookish blog most often, these other so called personal blogs have been less prioritized, I am so sorry. I'll try and become better at blogging again. I used to be so good lol :)

I have been in a better mood, in better health etc. My problem nowadays is my sore back and other somatic problems. My voice is still gone. I have a really hard time walking. I have a walker outside, at home I can get around pretty okay. 

I have spent a lot of time on Discord lol, I have a lot of new friends there, they are so lovely and nice.

I have to admit, I don't tell most of my friends so much about my life anymore, some of them are getting on my nerves lol. I feel like it is best to keep clear of some of them. I do not need their kind of negativity in my life. They are sometimes so rude to me. But it's okay, I am focusing on my Good Friends :)

I have started ordering my groceries home, because of my bad back. One thing that makes me upset is when my friends tell me to "just go outside". It's not that easy. Even if my back would be perfect, I have probably some kind of mental block, and the more people tell me to go outside, the harder it becomes... And IF/WHEN I go, they'll expect me to go more often. It is really hard. I know, they think it is because I am lazy and crazy. I do not care what they think. I will decide what I do. 

Today I will probably hang around Discord and read :)

I'm BACK! :P

Hi there!

I have been gone.... Because my computer is almost done. It is giving up its ghost so to speak, lol, that is it is almost broken... Too bad, so sad. It has been a good and faithful means and instrument of creativity and inspiration. So sorry. I think I might buy a new one next year or at Christmas sales, when everything is so cheap. Also, my bed broke lol. It will be replaced (probably) by a queen sized soft bed. LOVELY! I can not wait! My Mom is probably giving it to me for Christmas. She is so kind. My old bed is over 23 years old lol. REALLY OLD. It never came with me to Sweden, It stayed in Finland. While I had a few different beds in Sweden. My favorite bed was bough in Sweden. Bigger than this old one. Softer, just perfect. Miss it. It broke too, a few years ago. Thank goodness I have my old bed, and underneath there is a "box bed" and I have been sleeping in it for the past few days, since my bed broke.

In case you are worried, no, I have not gotten Covid or any other dangerous disease. I have had a little flu symptoms now and then but they go by quickly. I am truly happy that I have not gotten sick. It is a great blessing.

Today my "support-person" is coming to visit me, we are going to clean my home and organize things. I am listening to Rix MorronZoo, a Swedish radio morning program. It is lovely. I have listened to it since 2001/2002. I feel like I know some of the radio journalists, I have been listening to their voices for soon 20 years! It is a long time. Thank goodness my native tongue is Swedish, so I can understand this lol...

I am happy. More later!