'Hello!'

Hi.

Today I have felt very tired, almost lethargic. I've taken 2,5 naps, watched almost a whole movie, eaten a little and just been very unproductive. I watched The Devil wears Prada, couldn't finish it because I almost fell asleep lol...  All my friends say that my fatigue is because of my meds, I don't think it's just that. I'm maybe a little depressed or something. No one believes it, because I seem so happy all the time. LOL. Really funny.

The sun has been shining here in my city today, it doesn't help. I've listened to music, it helps a little. I don't have pepsi at home, so I cannot even perk myself up with a glass of that... Thank goodness I found a few caffeine pills. I took one. Let's see how soon it kicks in... :) It usually helps a lot, it also somehow relieves anxiety... Weird. Maybe it's because I wake up more. Not in a daze and a haze all the time lol.

I haven't blogged in ages. I don't remember what I've written about in this blog since I started it. Did you know, my first blog was in Finnish? It was on a youth site for Finnish mormons. Yeah. The Most Popular one, too... Nowadays with all the millions of blogs, no one cares. I think it maybe was in 2007 or something I started my first blog. If people wanna know, I do have experience...

Seriously, some people think I'm not very smart. I have my "speech impediment", so they assume that I'm not "all there" or something... Well. I feel sorry for them. It must be hard to think crap all the time about other people's abilities. I wish we all could just assume the best about each other, instead of tearing each other down... My neurologist told me, and she was the first doctor ever who told me this, she said: You are intelligent. :) She said: You need to keep writing, reading etc. to keep your mind in shape. WOOOW! I have never ever been called intelligent by a doctor! I almost start crying at the memory, because it means so much to me. Far too long I have been treated less than. I'm sick and tired of it. I've had enough... My time has come. LOL

There are many things I've gotten rusty at, like spelling, sometimes I cannot remember how to use a word, like, I cannot explain it... This is English I'm talking about. Swedish is my first native tongue, Finnish my second. I do count English as my third "native" tongue, because it's at least as strong as my Finnish. I went to Swedish schools... I lived in Sweden for 12 years and studied English and Finnish at the University of Stockholm. Swedish is my strongest language. Finnish and English split second place. I cannot decide which is stronger. Maybe Finnish is a little stronger. Because it's so much darn easy to spell in Finnish lol...

Wow! Look at me go today! Thank you, dear caffeine pill! ;)

Well, a while ago I read on facebook that: "I do not like blogs"... I'm like... Ummm... Do you know there are many kinds? They are not ALL about make-up, fashion, interior design, whatever it is that you do not like. lol. It was a very "special" comment. I mean. There are as many different blogs out there as there are people in the world. I love writing. I do not know when or how, just a few days ago I realized: I am a writer. I write. :) Crazy! I didn't realize that I was doing what authors, writers, journalists do. Maybe I just thought this is like a huge journal lol. I do not know. I am happy :)

Some other realizations that I have had lately are: I did not know what love was. Back in (when I was a teenager and a 20's something), I really did not know squat about it. I still do not know much, but a bit more than then. Yep.

I am on a spree today, apparently... Shame that my blog is not so popular. My book blog is a little. Not much. Haha. I'm happy if it gets 20 views per post... :( lol I know, I'm sad... I need to start sharing this blog a bit more :)

More later! :)

Hello there!

Hi again...

Sorry I haven't written in a long time. To say I have been busy would be an understatement. I have also just been lazy .lol

I visited my parents at the beginning of August for ten days. They live in a little town ,my hometown of Pietarsaari , in Österbotten, where there's a lot of Swedish speaking people. My family is Swedish speaking, from my mother's side. My Dad is from Satakunta . Of course I was adopted , so on my biological Dad's side I'm from Härmä . Lots of different places lol. I have not studied my biological Mom's side yet.

I'm grateful that I was adopted.

Today I went to the speech therapist and then to the new shopping centre here in Tampere. I ate a little, picked up a book I had ordered and went to the food store. When I came back home , I was so tired that I took a little nap. Lol.

I know that in the past I have written about my crushes etc. ... No more. I really don't want to write about it anymore. Lol. Seriously . None of anybody's business .

On the 15th we're having my class reunion at a little restaurant here in Tampere. This was my class from 1987-1997. I got ill in 1997 , had to be in the hospital for eight months! When I came back to school I had new class mates. It's going to be interesting to see a few class mates after all these years . I'm proud of myself. I have done well in life. I may not be the most successful or popular person in the world but I am happy. How many people can say that ? There's so much anxiety and worry in people these days. I know I have that from time to time.

Here's a little list of the things I have achieved in my life, despite of all my difficulties.

2000 I graduated from Svenska samskolan i Tammerfors
2000 I graduated from The Tampere school of home economics
2001 I moved to Stockholm, Sweden
2001 - 2012 I studied at the University of Stockholm: English and Finnish
2007 I bought an apartment on Kungsholmen, in the centre of Stockholm
2012 I moved back home to Tampere

I got two kittens on August 28th 2011 in Sweden
I got over a hundred study credits at the University of Stockholm
Now I live in the centre of Tampere and live a very good life

I have friends, I have hobbies , my book blog , I have worked for an American company blogging about books for a year . I didn't earn money,  but a lot of experience and just the feeling and achievement felt really good.

That's all . :)

Hi there...

Hi folks!

It's five to one in the morning here in Finland at the moment... I just cannot fall asleep... So, I'm watching SKAM and writing this, instead of sleeping. Sometimes creativity kicks in late in the evening/in the middle of the night for me lol.

I've had serious anxiety today almost all day. Not fun. But now I feel better because sleep helps. Sleep is the best medicine. That is what we say here in Finland. Don't know if it's true. Maybe there is some wisdom to it.

SKAM is a Norwegian series about teenagers and their problems. It's all in Norwegian, of course and I usually put Swedish subtitles. Norwegian is really close to Swedish. And it's even easier to understand if you come from the part of Swedish-speaking Finland where I come from: Eastern Bothnia. We have a similar words.

Well, now I'm really getting tired, my eyes won't stay open... Good night! :)

The Book about My Life...

Hello darlings!

I have been planning to write a book about my life for a looong time. Now my friends are trying to get me to start lol. It's just hard to know where to start... I'm 38 years old. I have written in 30+ journals during my life (so far...) It's going to be a big book lol. Some things I don't feel like sharing with some of my friends. Some things I do not want to share with my relatives/family... There is so much that has happened. And if I need to be really honest, it ain't all positive. Someone might get hurt, even though I do not intend on hurting them. It's just not easy. Then there is the issue, digital or paper? Of course, it would be good to keep it digital, but I really do not know where to put it. On my computer? On a "memory card", whatever that may be. I have not used an USB device for a looong time. It has been forever... And honestly, my life is MY life, some people do not deserve to know everything, like: pearls before swine...sorry... There are some people who have been judging me, and I really do not want for them to understand. It's like: if they cannot love me for who I am, they really do not deserve to know what I am really like. Poor, unfortunate souls lol.

So, I might just keep it to myself. There is no need to let the whole world know. I do not own anyone any explanation or anything. Seriously...

More later! :)

Spring has sprung... ;)

Hello!

I have been having some technical issues. I have decided against smileys etc. They might be the root of the problem... I hope to eliminate all my issues by just writing very emotion-less... lol Let us keep our fingers crossed this time my computer and blogger settings, whatever, will work out their difficulties and help me post a post without further problems. Man, I sound formal and boring lol

Well... Summer has arrived to Finland. Finally! It's been 17-20 degrees celsius these last few days, lovely! The grass is green(er), the sky is blue, the wind is fresh and the trees are getting greener everyday. We have not had a proper summer in a looong time. Nor a real winter. But last winter was really a winter, with snow and a lot of minus degrees. So, maybe it is: Proper winter - Proper summer! Let us hope so lol...

More later!

Testing, testing, testing...

Hi!

My computer is having some "issues"... My last post went completely bonkers :P

This is a "test" :)

TA!

Hey there! ;)

Hello darling readers!

How are y'all doing? :) I have missed blogging. I've been busy, a little ill and just plain lazy... Plus my internet connection has been on-off these past months. Simply because the iron door to the wifi-box was closed xD lol Seriously, my good old friend asked me: Have you tried opening the door? LOL Of course, he was right, it worked! :) Hallelujah!

Speaking of Hallelujah... We're having a pre-Christmas Christmas Party at the church tonight. I'm going. I just need to buy a little gift and a little something to eat... Everyone is supposed to bring something...

I hate winter. It's so dark in here, my home, that even though it's not even one o'clock in the afternoon, it's so dark, that I need to turn on some lights! This sucks! But of course, it's pretty cloudy :P In the summer it's the opposite. Summer is a crazy time here in Finland. Everyone goes bonkers. Well, we're pretty bonkers anyways... On the L-O-V-E front... Well, it's been pretty quiet but interesting. No comment. My Mom said that there's something in my genes that when I fall in love, I fall really hard. Well, turns out, I didn't know how much it could hurt until it did lol. Being really cryptic here, don't want to spill no beans. lol I'm crazy, I know... Some things are better left unsaid. Eventhough my speech therapist said I need to TALK IT OUT. I just cannot say some things... Maybe that's why my voice isn't working, so that I won't say the wrong things. That was the theory my shrink in Sweden had.

Did I tell you I used to live in Sweden? ... Nice try, Cindy, trying to change the subject: YOU STARTED THIS BLOG WHILE LIVING IN SWEDEN :P lol LOL lol :P

OK. That's enough for today...

BYE BYE!!!