The Book about My Life...

Hello darlings!

I have been planning to write a book about my life for a looong time. Now my friends are trying to get me to start lol. It's just hard to know where to start... I'm 38 years old. I have written in 30+ journals during my life (so far...) It's going to be a big book lol. Some things I don't feel like sharing with some of my friends. Some things I do not want to share with my relatives/family... There is so much that has happened. And if I need to be really honest, it ain't all positive. Someone might get hurt, even though I do not intend on hurting them. It's just not easy. Then there is the issue, digital or paper? Of course, it would be good to keep it digital, but I really do not know where to put it. On my computer? On a "memory card", whatever that may be. I have not used an USB device for a looong time. It has been forever... And honestly, my life is MY life, some people do not deserve to know everything, like: pearls before swine...sorry... There are some people who have been judging me, and I really do not want for them to understand. It's like: if they cannot love me for who I am, they really do not deserve to know what I am really like. Poor, unfortunate souls lol.

So, I might just keep it to myself. There is no need to let the whole world know. I do not own anyone any explanation or anything. Seriously...

More later! :)

Spring has sprung... ;)

Hello!

I have been having some technical issues. I have decided against smileys etc. They might be the root of the problem... I hope to eliminate all my issues by just writing very emotion-less... lol Let us keep our fingers crossed this time my computer and blogger settings, whatever, will work out their difficulties and help me post a post without further problems. Man, I sound formal and boring lol

Well... Summer has arrived to Finland. Finally! It's been 17-20 degrees celsius these last few days, lovely! The grass is green(er), the sky is blue, the wind is fresh and the trees are getting greener everyday. We have not had a proper summer in a looong time. Nor a real winter. But last winter was really a winter, with snow and a lot of minus degrees. So, maybe it is: Proper winter - Proper summer! Let us hope so lol...

More later!

Testing, testing, testing...

Hi!

My computer is having some "issues"... My last post went completely bonkers :P

This is a "test" :)

TA!

Hey there! ;)

Hello darling readers!

How are y'all doing? :) I have missed blogging. I've been busy, a little ill and just plain lazy... Plus my internet connection has been on-off these past months. Simply because the iron door to the wifi-box was closed xD lol Seriously, my good old friend asked me: Have you tried opening the door? LOL Of course, he was right, it worked! :) Hallelujah!

Speaking of Hallelujah... We're having a pre-Christmas Christmas Party at the church tonight. I'm going. I just need to buy a little gift and a little something to eat... Everyone is supposed to bring something...

I hate winter. It's so dark in here, my home, that even though it's not even one o'clock in the afternoon, it's so dark, that I need to turn on some lights! This sucks! But of course, it's pretty cloudy :P In the summer it's the opposite. Summer is a crazy time here in Finland. Everyone goes bonkers. Well, we're pretty bonkers anyways... On the L-O-V-E front... Well, it's been pretty quiet but interesting. No comment. My Mom said that there's something in my genes that when I fall in love, I fall really hard. Well, turns out, I didn't know how much it could hurt until it did lol. Being really cryptic here, don't want to spill no beans. lol I'm crazy, I know... Some things are better left unsaid. Eventhough my speech therapist said I need to TALK IT OUT. I just cannot say some things... Maybe that's why my voice isn't working, so that I won't say the wrong things. That was the theory my shrink in Sweden had.

Did I tell you I used to live in Sweden? ... Nice try, Cindy, trying to change the subject: YOU STARTED THIS BLOG WHILE LIVING IN SWEDEN :P lol LOL lol :P

OK. That's enough for today...

BYE BYE!!!

Life, death and best friends.

Dear readers...

This week my best friend, extra grandmother and nanny died. She was 89 years old. She has been my friend since I was a baby. As I grew, I spent almost every Saturday at her home, watching TV, eating good food and talking about life. Oftentimes we took a nap in between TV programmes, we played cards and had fun. I miss her a lot. But I know we will meet again. The thing is, I can't see a reason why we wouldn't meet again. Like a soul could just dissolve into nothing. I'm looking forward to seeing her again. If you think about it, it will be put pretty soon. I have maybe 50-40 years left on earth. One year goes by so fast.

I have spent most of my summer here in Jakobstad, at my parents place. On Monday I'm going back home to Tampere. I have come to realise that my home really is there. It's there I grew up, it's there I've experienced my happiest, most sad, hardest and funniest moments. I really love it, my home town...

I am so lucky, I have the opportunity to live in my childhood home. I've got a bedroom, a library and a living room, a kitchen and bathroom. Not everyone has a library... okay, I'm a grown woman, I'm 37 and independent. But most women my age have a family, I have the luxury of living by myself in a very nice home.

I have truly been blessed.

This summer I have been spending time with my family and friends. I have been very very busy. Almost too busy. I am looking forward to just taking it easy and getting back to the routines and ordinary way of life.

Hi...

Hello there!

Lately I have been so happy that I often think that if I would die now, I would be happy and ready, perfectly in tune with the universe. I think it's a good thing, because I believe we should always be prepared to go at any given moment. We never know when it's our turn. I strive to live in a way that every evening I can say: I am happy right now. Not in the future, not in the past. Right now. I love life. There's no need for anything more. I have everything I need.

Well, this was all for now.

Rainbow connection

Hey there!

Today I went to the gym. To BodyBalance class, with my very favorite instructor. She is really nice. I almost didn't go there tonight but I decided to go, and it was amazing. I was so happy, BodyBalance makes me feel so good. Now I'm at home, listening to soundtracks to some of my favorite movies. I don't know what's "wrong" with me. I feel emotional, blissful and thankful. If I would die during sleep tonight, I would be completely satisfied with my life. I wish I would feel like this every evening. The gym classes have helped me a lot. Fudge, what did I do before going to the gym? LOL..

When I was a teenager, I'm not going to lie, I wanted to marry an American RM. LoL. I was a very silly child. People may say what they want about the States, but it has a very special place in my heart. I have been there only once. To Washington DC and New York city. My dream has been to live in nyc for a few months, just to experience the City. Three days in 2000 isn't quite enough. LoL. I really don't care about Utah etc. I am a different kind of Mormon 😉 My Mom always says I would be happy living in the States. I am not so rich, it's never going to be possible. Well, it's nice to dream.

One thing I would be worried about would be health care. Otherwise everything would be fine and dandy, living in the States. The language... Well, I don't think that would be a problem. LoL. I am so thankful for my teachers who taught me well. Thanks to them, English is my third language, I would say, almost as strong as my native tongues. It's been a long learning experience. I hope my teachers are proud of me, I owe them so much.

Well, that's all for now.